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Processor Keychain

Make a keychain out of an obsolete or damaged processor, or CPU.

Processor Keychain

I do not take responsibility for any damage or injuries.

You WILL have to destroy the chosen processor, so pick accordingly.

I used a dead 2.4GHZ Pentium 4 for this. This is a great processor, but it’s broken, so I cannot use it. This is the next best thing I can do with it.

Beware of ceramic processors like the Pentium 1 and 2 and some early AMD processors, and the Cyrex AMD clones. DO NOT drill these out too fast. The case WILL crack of thermal shock. Slow and steady does it, and you will need a special drill bit to drill ceramic processors. Your best bet is to avoid them for this if it can be helped. That Pentium 1 or Cyrex AMD clone might look better on a showcase of computer history than on your keys.

This will work on any CPU in this style for mounting into the motherboard, should this be a concern. I will have to do a guide on how to do Pentium 2 and 3 slot based processors when I get one.

Related

Steps

Step #1:

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Processor Keychain
  • Proof the processor I am using is damaged.
  • It has a damaged pin, and this one is critical, it does NOT work anymore.

Step #2:

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  • Removing the heatspreader from the processor if needed:
  • Get a new razor blade. Find a gap in the side of the CPU where the heatspreader is attached, stick the razor blade in the gap and it will slip in, and simply glide it across and the heatspreader will come off.
  • This is irrelevant to ceramic processors.
  • If there is room to make the hole WITHOUT removing the heatspreader, skip this step.
  • Watch your fingers! If you cut yourself, you will have a pretty nasty cut! It is a very good idea to use a proper casing for razor blades if it's an option.

Step #3:

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Processor Keychain
  • This is for pin-based processors ONLY:
  • To remove the pins from the processor, you just need small pliers to remove the pins from the processor, or use your fingernails.
  • This is to avoid having it poking you in your pocket, which I doubt will be comfortable.
  • If you do not have pins on yours, skip to step 4.
  • This is relevant to ceramic processors.
  • One thing you can do is to leave the pins on and remove them AFTER you drill all the holes to make this, like I did. The benefit to this is that, depending on the size of the processor and the number of pins (on this one, 478 pins minus 1, 477), is it will remove some for you without any work at all, leaving you with less work to be done.

Step #4:

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Processor Keychain
  • Making the keychain:
  • Take the heatspreader and processor and decide where to put the hole. It should not be so far toward the edge that it has no support, but far enough so that it can be accessed easily and still be strong enough to support the weight of your keys.
  • When you decide where to drill the hole, mark it with a marker or pen, and repeat that mark on the heatspreader as that will be drilled out too.
  • Take the processor outside and drill the hole. Pick a drill bit that is just right; not too big, not too small.
  • Use this same bit on the heatspreader, but drill about halfway through on one side, and drill the other half from the other side. This will preserve the heatspreader's shape and make your keychain look even more professional.
  • DO NOT drill ceramic processors too fast. They will crack from thermal shock if you do it too fast. Safety glasses are mandatory if you must use a ceramic-package processor for this.

Step #5:

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  • Replacing the heatspreader:
  • Using Liquid Nails or some other strong adhesive, put some on top of the original glue that was used. Make sure it is even, and put a small dab on the die of the processor for good measure. Reassemble the package and let it sit for 24-48 hours to cure. If Liquid Nails is not available, I would recommend bathtub silicone.
  • If you use something that is not Liquid Nails, read the instructions on the back of the package to find out how long it needs to cure.(hot glue also works, but let it get fairly hot to adjust it and put it on)
  • When dry, put a small computer zip tie on for keys, and you are done.
  • If you are worried about the pins later, remove them when dry. If you ask me, you are better off removing them. They will bend and break off in your pocket anyway, if not just be flat out uncomfortable.

Step #6:

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  • What this keychain looks like when finished.
  • These are just realistic examples of what it looks like.

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