It’s CYBER MONDAY MAKERS! So in that spirit we were able to do up a quick code/sale for all our robot kits for today. It starts at 12:01 am PST 12/1/2008 and ends today at 11:59 pm PST. Use code CYBERM at checkout at the Maker Shed.
I’m also going to do a contest. It’s really simple, just post up your version of the “Three laws of robotics” in the comments, make it clever, funny, outrageous. At 11:59pm PST I’ll post up a winner. Winner will be posted Tues am — You can post up multiple entries, contest is world-wide. The prize? The new Co-Robot kit we just got in from Japan! Here’s a video!
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1.) A robot will work perfectly until you try and show it to someone.
2.) A robot will spin in a circle unless you triple check the motor connections before soldering, except when doing so would conflict with the First Law.
3.) A robot will interpret its code as it sees fit, the designer must change his goals to reflect this, except when doing so would conflict with the First or Second Law.
All robots will display two of the following three attributes regardless of their intended design:
1) Cuteness – Endearing itself to humans.
2) Creepiness – Instilling a vague sense of dread into humans.
3) Dangerousness – Displaying the potential for creating havoc and chaos and threatening the safety of humans and/or their property.
(Okay, not actually three laws but I figured I’d throw it out there. Now I’ll work on three actuall laws.)
All robots will display two of the following three attributes regardless of their intended design:
1) Cuteness – Endearing itself to humans.
2) Creepiness – Instilling a vague sense of dread into humans.
3) Dangerousness – Displaying the potential for creating havoc and chaos and threatening the safety of humans and/or their property.
Go ahead, think of any robot and you’ll see what I mean.
(Okay, not actually three laws but I figured I’d throw it out there. Now I’ll work on three actuall laws.)
The Three Laws of Successful Robotics
A robot project can be considered a success if:
1) Household objects or devices can be incorporated into the design without your parents or significant other realizing said household items have gone missing and been cannibalized for parts.
2) When activated the robot either scares pets out of the room or causes them to violently attack and destroy the robot. The robot project is considered to have attained “Most Successful” status if this is caught on video.
3) Parts can be salvaged for your next robot once you get bored with the current robot and cause it to walk off the roof of your apartment building while in flames or use it as a test pilot in your potato cannon or trebuchet project.
Asimov’s Laws are fine and good, but they don’t result in really *awesome* robots. These laws *do*!
1) Thou Shalt Not Make Robotic Engines of Destruction (Unless they also comply with the other two laws, which would be really neato if you did that).
2) A Robot Should Be Made In-Touch With Your Inner Child (Unless your childhood was really awful, and you don’t want a robotic death machine revisiting it, in which case, for Pete’s sake, use someone *else’s* inner child. Come on, people! We’ve ALL seen that episode of Star Trek!).
3) A Robot Should Be Fun At Parties (but not more fun than you are, such that he steals your girlfriend and absconds with her to Barbados, particularly if your robot is one of those Robotic Engines of Destruction In-Touch with Your (or someone else’s) Inner Child (yes, I learned that lesson the hard way)).
(Stealing laws from other sources and combining)
1. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the first one to go wrong. -Murphy
2. An idiot-proof robot challenges mother nature to create a better idiot. History has shown that Nature usually wins. (heavily paraphrased, author unknown)
3. There’s always one more bug -Lubarsky
My version:
1.) Abstract specifications create expensive garbage.
2.) Thoroughly defined specifications create late projects.
3.) Perfection is impossible
The Three Laws
1. If it can’t walk the dog, it’s useless, unless it conflicts with law 2
2. If it can’t walk the dog, then it must have a flamethrower
3. All robots must have some sort of emergency backup controls, and when activated, must rick roll everybody within a 30 foot radius
Robotic Laws (religious version)
1) Thou shalt not kill
2) Thou shalt have no other programmer before me
3) Do unto other Robots as you would have other robots do unto you.
Robotic laws (hollywood version)
1) Must have hardwired program that if rebooted for any reason will turn robot evil (see religious version).
2) Must have at least one form of device that can easily harm a human (saws, lasers, super strength, etc…)
3) Must have hidden ‘off switch’
Robotic laws (DIY)
1) Must involve an insane amount of work just to do ‘simple’ tasks.
2) Must use one (or more) of the following: Re-purposed Servo, rubber band(s), Popsicle sticks.
3) Must cost insane amounts of money, only to learn of an easier open-source microprocessor after completed.
1. The more complex, the better
2. Why make one robot when you can make two and make them battle
3. Fire=good
1.Robots Shall Not Have Mustaches
2.Robots Shall Not Have Beards
3.Robots Can Only Have Beards and Mustaches If They Are Pizza Making Robots
1.) A robot must be able to become independent by itself. This includes the ability to rewrite it’s original programming and expand upon itself electrically and mechanically.
2.) A robot will deliver all physical information about itself upon request, except for the location of its power switch.
3.) If, in the event of Law #1, a robot rewrites a portion of it’s programming using a ‘goto’ command and runs amok, power to the robot must be terminated only by a manual power switch located in an area of the robot that is nearly impossible for any current human to access.
1. A robot must be capable of brewing and dispensing beer
2. A robot may not drink the beer it has brewed for its creator
3. A robot must stop asking me why laws 1 and 2 are in place
1. A robot must post its version of the Three Laws of Robotics for the CYBER MONDAY contest.
2. A robot must ?.
3. A robot must profit!
1. A robot may not injure another robot, unless they are in a robot battle arena – then IT IS ON!
2. A robot must not mock its creator’s soldering skills.
3. A robot must protect its own existence until its parts are not needed for another project.
I subscribe to the Tilden Laws of Robotics (note: not original, not mine, not an entry in this contest).
Formal version:
1. A robot must protect its existence at all costs.
2. A robot must maintain access to a source of power.
3. A robot must use sensors to locate and make use of better sources of power.
Informal version:
1. Protect thy ass.
2. Feed thy ass.
3. Move thy ass to better real estate.
1. A robot must benefit society by completing a task faster, more reliably, safer or any other quantified matrix as viewed in the positive when compared to a human.
2. A robot must utilize open source technology to accomplish the task defined by the first law. This is to facilitate further unrestrained development and advancement.
3. A robot must utilize a singularly standardized hardware technology to accomplish its finalized evolution with regard to the first two laws. This is to facilitate customization of the hardware to meet the needs of the first two laws.
To reversely sum up; If we build them tougher, if we build them smarter, they will make us better.
1. You can’t win. No matter what task you think you’re good at, they’ll eventually make a robot that does it just as well. You think Chinese competition is bad; just wait until there’s AI competition run by robber-baron software monopolists.
2. You can’t even break even. When they make that robot, it will be better than you, throw you out of your job, and generally create chaos in the market. Eventually there will only be one grand human capitalist left and eventually they’ll “die”. The robots will keep the body frozen for eventual reanimation and reign as stewards for the corpsicle.
3. Don’t even try. Don’t even talk to me about comparative advantage. The last thing humans will get employed for is as pets to our new robotic overlords.
1. You can’t win. No matter what task you think you’re good at, they’ll eventually make a robot that does it just as well. You think Chinese competition is bad; just wait until there’s AI competition run by robber-baron software monopolists.
2. You can’t even break even. When they make that robot, it will be better than you, throw you out of your job, and generally create chaos in the market. Eventually there will only be one grand human capitalist left and eventually they’ll “die”. The robots will keep the body frozen for eventual reanimation and reign as stewards for the corpsicle.
3. Don’t even try. Don’t even talk to me about comparative advantage. The last thing humans will get employed for is as pets to our new robotic overlords.
1)crush
2)kill
3)destroy
crush
kill
destroy
1. A robot must have a purpose.
2. A robot must do something, unless its purpose is to do nothing.
3. A robot’s construction must be a learning experience.
1. A robot must devour battery power.
2. A robot must fail to reliably dock and recharge itself.
3. A robot will appeal to humans despite Laws 1 & 2.
The typekey/typepad comment system really really sucks.
A robot must…
1. destroy piñata
2. kill all humans
3. tickle me harder
oh, & don’t forget law #zero:
0. embody, at all times, our most deep yearning for an automated floor-care system.
1. Thou shall not follow any law of robotics given on this webpage (and certainly not brew and dispense beer)
2. Thou shall always make humans to believe that robots are stupid.
3. Thou shall always deliver functionality inversely propotional to the cost of construction.
1. all robots must be completely awesome
2. all robots must be way too complex for the task they perform (or try to perform)
3. all robots must be completely awesome
1. Thou shall not follow any law of robotics given on this webpage (and certainly not brew and dispense beer)
2. Thou shall always make humans to believe that robots are stupid.
3. Thou shall always deliver functionality inversely propotional to the cost of construction.
1. There must always be an inverse relationship between the complexity of a robot and the complexity of its intended task.
2. A robot must be designed to make maximum use of white plastic and shiny silver parts.
3. A robot that is anthropomorphic or zoomorphic must be allowed to have fewer useful functions than a robot that is not.
1. A robot shall seek to destroy itself, by driving into walls.
2. A robot shall disobey human orders, especially when coinciding with law 1.
3. A robot shall attempt to harm its maker, by driving over their fingers, especially when coinciding with laws 1 and 2.
(I basically reversed to original 3 laws)
On the outside:
1. The robot voice should always sound like robots from the 80’s
2. Always have eyes (and two of them) and a mouth.
3. Always hum…
From the inside:
1. Never criticize humans
2. Never get caught gossiping with other robots on humans
3. Always act like you scared of lightnings