Gamers Stage Annual Battle for the North Pole

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Gamers Stage Annual Battle for the North Pole

For the past three years, “Oriskany,” the historical wargames editor on the gaming site, Beasts of War, has posted a wargame battle report detailing an assault on Santa’s North Pole workshop by some foe determined to make a bloody mess out of Christmas. Oriskany is known for his very detailed, elaborate battle reports, and his Christmas Carnage reports are no different. Here, he sets up this year’s North Pole rumble:

…We have to interrupt your regularly-scheduled Beast of War content for an emergency flash bulletin – SANTA’S WORKSHOP AT THE NORTH POLE IS UNDER ATTACK! We repeat, SANTA’S WORKSHOP AT THE NORTH POLE IS UNDER ATTACK!

As of this hour, we are reliably informed that that the brave and elite North Pole Defense Force (NPDF – a highly-trained militia to protect the warm wishes and good cheer of Santa and his winter village during the holiday season) has been mobilized to meet the incursion.

What is less clear is the exact nature of this latest threat. Of course the NPDF has stood off three previous assaults on the North Pole, which first came under attack by a rogue task force of 1930s-era Soviet armor, then a tank-helicopter battlegroup of 1985 Team Yankee Soviets, and finally an hypertech assault force of Clan Ghost Bear ‘mechs from the sci-fi classic BattleTech universe.

Read the entire report to see who prevails and if Christmas is saved. The report also contains links to the three previous years’ reports.


Gareth Branwyn is a freelance writer and the former Editorial Director of Maker Media. He is the author or editor of over a dozen books on technology, DIY, and geek culture. He is currently a contributor to Boing Boing, Wink Books, and Wink Fun. And he has a new best-of writing collection and “lazy man’s memoir,” called Borg Like Me.

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